Sunday, September 30, 2007

Guest Blogger: Jack Taggert (aka Varius Tagaris)

In case any of you were wondering, yes. a vampire can get a hangover.
That's really all I have to say--or can say--at the moment.

No wait, I do have one more thing to add. Black coffee and aspirin do not help a vampire hangover. Poetic justice, I guess.

I must crawl back to my coffin now.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Random Vampire Thought

I just realized in the 222 years that I've been in existence, I've had 659 toothbrushes.


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Contest Winners

Okay--sorry for the delay.
But we vampires got things to do, people to bite.

Here are the winners...
Sharon Berger
Allison Green
Steffanie Turner

And because so many people entered--(and yes, we are doing this without the permission of Erin and Kathy--but we'll use our psychic mind control to make them bow to our will), we are picking one more winner.

And that lucky additional winner is...
Carmen Rexford

Congrats to all of you who played. Everyone answered correctly, which makes us happy. Especially Drake, since two of the questions had to do directly with him. I swear Erin and Kathy favor that boy.

Keep checking back. We will be running more contests, and Kathy and Erin will be updating Drake's story weekly. And read the blog--and chat with us!
Vampires get lonely.

Congrats again to the winners!

~Ren and The Impalers

Friday, September 21, 2007

Talk Like a Pirate Day?

First of all...what?

As you all know, I work on Bourbon Street, which in and of itself can be damned strange, but just the other night, it got even weirder. All these people kept staggering into our bar, talking in these terrible brogues and using phrases like "ahoy, matey!" and "shiver me timbers!"

Now people on Bourbon are not known for sobriety...or being normal, really. And thanks to that dude, Johnny Depp, people do fancy themselves as pirates on a more regular basis. But this was too many--even for the undeniable fandom of Mr. Depp. I mean, "argh" echoed through the air like some sort of wacked Gregorian chant.

Finally, Ren asked the crowd, what the hell they were doing. They gleefully (and still in those awful fake accents) announced it was "Talk like a pirate day."

Again, I ask you, what?

Okay, I was a pirate. And I never--never--talked like that. Not once did I say, "ahoy, mateys." Nor did I hear anyone else say it. I did often hear, "Look! A whore, mateys." I mean we spent a lot of time around the docks. Docks are seedy places--lots of whores there. And we discussed that fact often, and with great joy.

I never heard "shiver me timbers." I don't even know what the hell that means. And what man in their right mind would shout, "Thar she blows," to a shipload of men who've been out to sea for weeks. Do you want to incite a riot??
(Although, I may have heard that one on the docks, too.)

So if you want to know how real pirates spoke--and what they did--which wasn't flouncing round wearing smudged black eyeliner and ruffles (okay, I might have done that a bit), then go read Erin and Kathy's serial about me--Drake: Tales of a Lusty Pirate. It is purely accurate, as I am reciting the events directly to them.
(Okay, it's mostly accurate. Go read it, and tell me what you think?)

And what's your favorite pirate phrase? I'll let you know if we said it.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Thanks from Johnny

Just about to crawl into my coffin for my slumber, but I wanted to say thank you to Kathy and Erin for asking me to take over the drumming position in The Impalers. The party was great, spirits were high, energy was flowing. All in all, a great party. I enjoyed meeting everyone. Thanks for the opportunity. See you next time. "Get Impaled!!"

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Since The Impalers were such a hit at Heather Graham's Writers for New Orleans conference, Erin and I have decided to run a contest to celebrate. A rockin' contest based around our undead supergroup, who really done us proud.

And what do I win, you ask?
Well, let me tell you.

The prizes are...

Advance reader copies of both my own, Any Way You Want It, featuring Impalers' frontman, Ren D'Antoni--

and Erin's Sucker Bet, where the heroine, Gwenna Carrick, rocks out at an Impalers concert.

And the best part, these books are not officially available until January 2008--so you can read about the Impalers before anyone else.

Plus you will also win a CD of The Impalers (yes, the real Impalers) performing Any Way You Want It and I Want You To Want Me. Undead guys playing some of your favorite 80's cover tunes! Pretty cool, huh?

So what do you have to do to win all these awesome vampire-y goodies?
It's very simple...

Erin and I are writing a free online serial called Drake: Tales of A Lusty Pirate, which we will be updating on a regular basis. Please go to the story (on The Impalers site) and answer the following questions...
(Make sure to send the answers directly to me at

1. Where is Drake at the beginning of the story?

2. What is Drake's love interest's name?

3. Peruse the pictures in the Gallery (also on The Impalers site), find Ren, and then tell me what Ren's real life name is.

We will pick 3 winners, and they will be announced on Friday the 21st.
Good luck!

Friday, September 7, 2007

Rocking The Writing World

Hey Y'all!

Well, as you may have noticed, The Impalers have been away for awhile. We've been touring some, sleeping some, meeting new folks and drinking blood all along the way.

But now we are back in New Orleans, and to celebrate our homecoming, we just played the Hotel Monteleone for Heather Graham's Writers for New Orleans conference. And it was a damned fine welcome back. Erin McCarthy and Kathy Love sponsored us, and the attendees enjoyed themselves, hitting the dance floor and gettin' their groove on.

This was our first time doing a gig like this. And let me tell you--writers rock! We cannot state enough how great a conference and party this was. If you've considered attending, then definitely do so! We hope to be back again next year, singing, mingling and looking for prospective new tasty treats. :)

Okay, we honestly won't bite.
Not on the job anyway.

Check out the photos below. And check back for new ones.

AND Erin and Kathy are going to be running a contest soon.
Plus they will be posting a free serial read about our very own Drake--the lusty pirate. Look for new updates weekly. There is lots to come, so return often. And please do chat with us.
We love new blood. (Okay, okay enough with the vampire humor, right?)

Ciao for now,
The Impalers

Kathy and Erin with The Impalers

Drake before the show.

Ren singing his heart out for the crowd.

Johnny pumped up after the show.