Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Am I Just a Dirty Old Man With Fangs?

Hey There,
Okay, the ladies over at The Midnight Hour are discussing a very interesting topic. One that I have thought about a lot myself--what with being an 222 year old vampire and all. Their discussion is in relation to vampires in young adult novels, but I have still thought about this problem in relation to myself, too. Since most of the women I've dated are usually 190 or so years
younger than me (Maggie is 194 years younger than I am), then does that just make me a dirty old man with some killer dental work? (Note, the picture of me contemplating this very matter.)

I like to think I'm no such thing. Okay, I have lived that long, but I did stop aging at thirty. In which case, I'm dating in my appropriate age range. I mean, why would I suddenly stop being attracted to women in my same physical age group? And frankly, 190 year old mortal women are pretty hard to come by. Really any woman over 100 is a little dicey. I think there is something worse about dating women who often don't know where they are and sometimes mistake me for their grandson than dating someone my own physical age. Not that I've actually dated women that old, but it does seem like one the inherent perils of such a relationship. And thus one of the many, many reasons I've never gone there.

While I have lived much longer than Maggie, I don't feel like an old man to her twenty-something years. And actually, in my case, I've made a concerted effort to remain as immature as I was during my live thirtieth year, which has to work in my favor, right? (Okay, Maggie might argue that point.)

But what is your take? Are vampires too old for their mortal love interests? Am I just a perv with the hots of the younger ladies? (Although I'm not going on the nursing home circuit--no matter what your opinion is.)

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Impalers Blog Party!!!

Reader Jennifer is throwing us a party on her blog all this week. How cool is that? Stop by to hang with us (The Impalers) and to read interviews with vampire authors Erin McCarthy and Kathy Love.

And did we mention FREE STUFF? Books and other random fun stuff will be up for grabs to readers who post.

So come visit us and Get Impaled... you know you want it!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Ten For Tuedsay

Okay, we were tagged by an old vampire pal of ours, Buck Bellamy who is thinking about joining The Impalers as our new bass player. He's actually a bit of a young'un (his way of saying it) compared to some of us, because he wasn't made a vampire until 1849. He was part of the gold rush, which didn't lead him to fame and fortune, but instead fangs and possibly fleas. (Although he he might have had the fleas to begin with.)

Anyway, he tagged us for "Ten for Tuesday."

So his question is name ten songs that make you think of vampires...or other paranormal creatures.

Ren- Devil Inside by INXS. I love that song, man.

Vittorio- Moon over Bourbon Street/Sting

Johnny- One Night In Bangkok by Murray Head (although I think this is a personal memory and the song would very likely not make anyone else think of vampires. Apparently it's really about chess.)

Dave- The Batman theme...well, it makes me think of bats anyway.

Wyatt- Love Bites by Judas Priest

Jack-Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads. Not that vampires kill people--much.

Drake- I'm Your Boogie Man by KC and the Sunshine Band. Hey, the 70's were a wild time in my vampire years!

Alastair- Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde

Fin- Little Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs Go werewolves!

Ren- Oh! I thought of another one! Love Song for a Vampire by Annie Lennox, because as you know, vampires need love too.

What songs remind you of vampires, werewolves or any other paranormal creature? What's your favorite Halloween song?

Friday, October 19, 2007

Excerpt from ANY WAY YOU WANT IT

Excerpt from ANY WAY YOU WANT IT

by Kathy Love

A January 2008 release from Kensington Brava

"This is...something," Maggie managed, peering around, not sure where to look at next.

Even Jo and Erika, who were definitely worldlier when it came to bars and partying, gawked around themselves in awe.

"This is pretty amazing," Erika finally said, after they'd all stood mesmerized by a pair of female mannequin legs in black stilettos, kicking in and out of a club's windows.

"You definitely don't see that every day, do you?" Jo said.

Maggie almost added that she'd never seen that before, period, when her attention was seized by a distinct strain of music, somehow reaching out to her over the warring chords of Jessie's Girl, Living On A Prayer and Summer of '69.

Without thinking, she took a step toward the sound. Then another--until she'd zigzagged through the crowds of revelers to a bar on the corner of Bourbon and some cross street.

She stopped on the sidewalk, staring at the building. The place was shabby, paint peeling from the wood, the sidewalk around it crumbling and layered in filthy. But from her spot on the street, she could see the stage through huge opened windows where a band was setting up. And she could clearly hear that distinct melody. Piano notes swirling through the air, a sound as out of place in this world as she felt.

Again, her feet moved until she found herself in the bar, standing in front of the stage, peering up at the person playing the music. Music that no one else should know.

Well, no one but her and possibly a few other authenticators. And the person who wrote it, of course. But that person was long since dead.

"Wow," Jo said from beside her, dragging Maggie's attention away from the music. "Good eye. That guy's pretty darn hot."

Maggie blinked back at the stage, for the first time noticing the man actually playing the music. He was tall with long hair in a shade somewhere between chestnut brown and dark mahogany, cascading over his broad shoulders.

He was looking down at the keyboards, his hair falling forward, shrouding most of his features, so that Maggie wondered how Jo could tell whether he was hot or not.

Then the thought quickly vanished as she watched his long fingers travel over the keys, playing a particularly difficult combination of chords. That combination exactly what she'd been studying so closely before she'd left. A fusion of notes that seemed to be a signature of sorts.
If Maggie's belief was correct, a signature of a composer that she was will to bet this man playing, a guy in a cover band on Bourbon street no less, had never even heard of. Much less could play.

Yet, here he was, playing it. Playing a piece that no one knew. An undiscovered composition probably by a lesser known composer.

Then two things happened at once, the beautiful, haunting tune abruptly switched into the intro to the classic 80's rock ballad, Sister Christian, and Maggie realized that the musician was staring directly at her. And she was staring back.

"Ah, man, he has a lazy eye," Erika said with a disappointed sigh.

Maggie heard her friend's words and regret, but somehow they didn't seem to quite reach her as if they echoed from a distance or through a somnolent haze. She just kept staring at the man, unable to look away, even though everything in her told her to do just that.

"There is something up with his eye, but I don't think it's lazy." Maggie heard Jo say.

Maggie wanted to speak, to say there wasn't anything wrong with his eyes, but the words in her head couldn't fumble their way her lips. All she could manage was to focus on him. On the eyes in question. Eyes that seemed to match the music he'd been playing, complicated, intense, haunted. And just as the music held her entranced, so did his gaze.

Until finally, a small smile curved his lips and then his gaze left her as he concentrated on his keyboards.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Excerpt from SUCKER BET

Sucker Bet
by Erin McCarthy
January 2008 release from Berkley Sensation

Gwenna smiled at him, and Nate felt something he sure in the hell shouldn’t. It was a kick of lust, right where it counted. Which scared the crap out of him. The mind was weak at the moment, yet the body still was totally functioning, which made this a bad thing. A stupid idea.

This was him with his head up his ass if he went up that elevator with her.

He went.

Which meant he was a total idiot.

But he was on the edge, and he knew it. Everything he felt, everything he’d lost, the hurt, the fear, the bitterness, swirled around inside him and threatened to take him down. He was going to crack, soon, the pressure pulling inside his skull, the lack of sleep, that last phone call to his parents, the indignity of yet another mindless murder on tonight of all nights, pushing and tugging at him.

It was Gwenna Carrick or a bottle of Jack, and she was a hell of lot more attractive than him drunk.

“What floor?” he asked as they stepped into an elevator with a thirty-something couple who were leaning dangerously close to each other.


Gwenna glanced over at the pair dressed in cocktail party clothes. Nate watched her eyes widen a little at the fact that the couple was now making out vigorously. With lots of hand, tongue, and leg movement. Well, that was special. Shifting a little to block her view, aware that the guy’s hand had just gone up the woman’s skirt, Nate tried to think of something inane and conversational to say. “So…”

He had nothing. Especially since Gwenna had moved a little to see around him. Instead of being appalled at the public fondling, she looked curious. Intrigued. She wet her lips. His own immediate and painful reaction to that was an instant boner. No hesitation, no slow inflate, just up, hard, and ready to go.

Which was more disgusting than the happy gropers behind him. He couldn’t understand how he could get an erection on the same night he’d been to a crime scene and watched his sister die. It was like confirmation of everything he’d ever been told by his grandmother- his animalistic male body was totally disconnected from his emotions.
On the other hand, maybe it was just a coping mechanism of some kind. Distract him from the rough stuff with a simple physical response. That sounded right on with what a therapist would tell him.

But he was starting to think maybe he should have stuck to the Jack Daniels idea, because the last thing he or Gwenna Carrick needed was a one-night stand.

The elevator dinged right as the woman let out an encouraging moan in the small space, and her back slammed against the wall from a particularly aggressive lunge at her breasts by her guy.

“This is our floor,” Gwenna said.

Thank God.

They stepped off as Gwenna murmured, “Well, those two are in for a fun night.”

“Doesn’t feel very fair, does it?” he said, glancing into the empty spa as she used a key card to open the locked door. “They’re going up without a care in the world to bang each other’s brains out, and here we are. Day from hell for both of us.”

She glanced back at him, blue eyes filled with compassion. “I think it’s safe to say yours has been worse from mine.”

Damn, she really was beautiful. Just pale and soft, all pink lips and shiny hair.

What would she do if he just reached over and kissed her? If he just grabbed on, held tight, and buried himself and all his thoughts inside her?

God, he was wrecked. He needed to go home. “Maybe I should just go, Gwenna. I’m walking the edge here… I don’t think I’m very good company.”

“Don’t go.” Moving in closer to him, her hair brushed along his jaw, her petite hands touching his chest. “I want you to stay.”

Then she tilted her head up to look at him, her fair skin stark in the muted glow from the overnight lights.

“Why?” he asked, standing stiffly, aware of how soft she felt, how delicate and feminine, and how much bigger he was than her. The scent of her was delicious- fruity and womanly, with a hint of coffee- and Nate wanted to run his fingers through her pale, silken hair and just let it go, let it all go.

“Because I don’t want to be alone,” she said simply. “And neither do you.”

Then she lifted her mouth and kissed him.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

What To Do In The Big Easy

Dave Foster here, back and brave enough to pose the same question to the guys:
What do you like about New Orleans?

Ren: Me being in it.

Vittorio rolls his eyes.

Ren: What? It was a joke. Man, you’re uptight. Okay, seriously, the Saints. I’m a huge football fan.

Dave Foster: Go Saints. So what does Erika’s fair-haired, dark eyed prince like?

Vittorio: Does she really call me that? Cool. One of my favorite places to go in New Orleans in Déjà Vu.

Dave Foster: The strip club? Dude, not appropriate for this blog.

Vittorio: No, not the strip club! Déjà Vu, the restaurant.

Ren: You can’t eat food.

Vittorio: But it’s a great place to go and energy suck. The mortals are too into their patty melts to notice what I’m doing.

Dave Foster: You know, never mind. Kathy and Erin gave some real suggestions on things to do in New Orleans and we’re just going to skip right to that.

Here’s their top ten list:

1) Eat a beignet

2) Go on a swamp tour

3) Cheer on the Saints

4) Dine al fresco

5) Stay in a haunted hotel

6) Visit the Cities of the Dead

7) Explore voodoo

8) Visit River Road Plantations

9) Have your tea leaves read

10) Visit our favorite vampire musicians playing on Bourbon Street

Monday, October 8, 2007

What The Girls Are Saying (and Arguing About)

Hello again. It's me, Dave Foster, back with more interviews with the woman behind the The Impalers.

This week I'm interviewing Maggie Gallagher, the lady who keeps Ren somewhat grounded, Erika Todd, who managed to make our very own Vittorio smile (and have a sex drive). And finally, Jo Asher, who is just getting onto the scene (and is a little behind on the whole vampire thing…so shhh.).

Dave Foster: The Impalers in their various incarnations have lived New Orleans for cent--glances at Jo--for years. All you ladies are relatively new to this area. What are your favorite things about The Big Easy?

I love the vibe of the city. It's so exciting and liberating. And the music is fantastic. And of course, I love my Ren.

Erika: I agree with Maggie, the vibe of the city is amazing. It speaks to the artist in me. I just love the eclectic mixture of people and talents. And I, of course, dig the whole paranormal feel here. And then there is my fair-haired, dark-eyed prince, Vittorio.

Jo raises an eyebrow looking mildly nauseated: I just came here because I could get a job. And while I really like the architecture, the people, and the food, I could do without all the paranormal mumbo jumbo.

Erika turns to Jo: There's really nothing to fear in the occult. Psychics have helped me make some of the best decision of my life.

Maggie: Well, there were those nightmares brought on by Maksim.

Erika: Those were bad, but they brought my fair-haired, dark-eyed prince to me.

Jo grimaces: Does Vittorio really like you to call him that? And Maksim? Isn't he that guy who knows Ren and Vittorio? How could he cause you nightmares? He's really sexy by the way.

Maggie: If horns and cloven hooves are sexy.

Jo frowns obviously confused.

Dave Foster clears is throat: Speaking of Ren and Vittorio, what is life like with them, Maggie and Erika?

Maggie: Great. Ren can be a little moody at times, and he does have better hair than I do. And he can be a little egotistical at times, but I wouldn't trade him in for anyone else.

Erika: Vittorio is lovely. Perfect. My fair--

Jo interrupts: God, don't even say it again!

Erika looks puzzled by Jo's outburst: What?

Maggie: Jo, you really should start considering there are things out there that aren't understood. Like psychics and ghosts and maybe even, say, vampires.

Jo shakes her head: Vampires? Next you'll be talking about demons. Whatever. I don't buy into that stuff. Sorry.

All the woman sit forward on their chairs, looking ready for a big debate.

Dave Foster cuts off the impending argument: Okay, ladies, thanks for the interview and sharing your likes--and dislikes--of New Orleans. I know some of the readers of this blog have been to New Orleans. What did you like about The Big Easy?

Friday, October 5, 2007

Tag, You're It

Erin emailed us and said she was blog tagged, which sounds a lot like what they do to marine animals. But she explained what it is really, and seeing that she and Kathy are on deadline and busy (yeah, whatever), they asked us to fill in for them. All we have to do is talk about ourselves, and what undead musician doesn’t want to do that? So we’re in.

Here’s how it works…
Players offer eight random habits/facts about themselves. If you’re tagged, you need to write your own blog about your eight things and post the rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to tag- and list their names. If you participate, don’t forget to leave your people a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Random facts about The Impalers and friends:

Drake- I’ve eaten dirt. Don’t ask why. I’m just saying that things happen.

David Foster- I try to hit Disney World at least one a year. Happiest Place on Earth, man, and I dig those little dolls in the It’s a Small World ride. It’s a freak out, but in a good way.

Johnny- You know the Danny character in Grease? They based him on me. For real.

Ren- The food I miss most? Butter. Really.

Vittorio- I love horror movies, but Mommy Dearest scares the crap out of me. Just seeing Joan Crawford's eyebrows makes me run.

Buck- I wanted to be a rodeo clown, but the guys told me I'd never get a woman wearing face paint and hiding in barrels.

Jack- I used to sell Amway.

Fin- I like to spend my weekends off wearing a kilt at Renaissance Festivals because a skirt just makes everything better.

We’re tagging:
Rhonda Stapleton
Arianna Hart
Jamie Denton
Janice Maynard

That’s only 4 people instead of 8 but how many authors do you think vampires know? And we suck (get it? Suck) at following rules anyway.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Chatrooms and Sassy Women

Last night we did our first online chat--and it was killer! Working on Bourbon, we meet some crazy hot chicks, but they've got nothing on the chatroom ladies at Writerspace.

Okay, we couldn't actually see them, but let me tell you, these ladies were sassy, funny and frankly, admired a fine musician whent they met one. (Oh, and they seemed to like Erin and Kathy's books okay, too.)

It was an excellent time. We'd love to do it again.
Thanks to all of you who joined us.

~The Impalers (really, it's Ren. Hi Ladies...)

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Chat With The Impalers TONIGHT!!!

Come chat with The Impalers, the greatest undead rock group in history!

Join Erin McCarthy, Kathy Love, and the boys at Writerspace this Wednesday,Oct 3rd at 9 EST. (That's tonight!!!)

Talk with dead guys and romance authors! Sex, blood and rock n' roll! It should be a fun and interesting time. You never know what the topic of conversation will be with vampires.
See you there!

Monday, October 1, 2007

What The Girls Are Saying

Interview conducted by David Foster, Roving Impaler Reporter (aka bored vampire passing the time)

David Foster: The Impalers just played a show in Vegas, and it’s a great town. What do you all like about Vegas?

Cara Kim: Money. The best part of living in Vegas is that I can rake in a ton of money exotic dancing to pay for my education and my grandmother’s nursing home. Okay, so not what I always pictured myself doing, but I stay behind the screen, and the bouncers make sure no freaks come near me. Until Seamus Fox came along, but for the most part he’s more hottie than freak.

Alexis Baldizzi- Carrick: Crime. There’s a ton of it, like any other major city. But in Vegas I get to prosecute criminals to the fullest extent of the law and there is no better feeling than watching some scumbag get tossed in jail and kept off the streets. I was positive Ethan Carrick had kidnapped my sister-

Brittany Baldizzi interrupts: I wasn’t kidnapped, I was trying to save Ethan’s soul from eternal damnation.

Alexis Baldizzi- Carrick: Whatever. He was an arrogant you-know-what, but I fell in love with him and now live in his glitzy casino. Go figure.

Brittany Baldizzi: People. I just love how everyone in Vegas is so friendly-

Alexis Baldizzi-Carrick interrupts: They’re probably drunk.

Brittany Baldizzi ignores her sister: -and cheerful. That’s why I don’t understand why Corbin is so moody all the time, but I have news that I’m sure will put a smile on his face. Or send him screaming.

Gwenna Carrick: I like the freedom of Vegas, where no one knows me and my past and I can start fresh, and be independent. Even though my ex-husband is a bloody idiot and I wish he’d fry in the desert instead of calling me a hundred times a day, I think I’m ready to meet someone new in Sin City. If you know of any candidates, give him my number, but leave out the nine hundred year old vampire bit.

Kelsey Columbia: I love being anywhere my husband, Ringo, is. And I love the bars, the dancing, the gambling, the super awesome shopping, the music, and The Impalers. So until tomorrow night, be at peace.

David Foster: Ever been to Vegas? What do you like (or don’t like) about it? Later this week we’ll hear from Maggie, Erika, and Jo on the virtues (or lack thereof) of the Big Easy- New Orleans.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Guest Blogger: Jack Taggert (aka Varius Tagaris)

In case any of you were wondering, yes. a vampire can get a hangover.
That's really all I have to say--or can say--at the moment.

No wait, I do have one more thing to add. Black coffee and aspirin do not help a vampire hangover. Poetic justice, I guess.

I must crawl back to my coffin now.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Random Vampire Thought

I just realized in the 222 years that I've been in existence, I've had 659 toothbrushes.


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Contest Winners

Okay--sorry for the delay.
But we vampires got things to do, people to bite.

Here are the winners...
Sharon Berger
Allison Green
Steffanie Turner

And because so many people entered--(and yes, we are doing this without the permission of Erin and Kathy--but we'll use our psychic mind control to make them bow to our will), we are picking one more winner.

And that lucky additional winner is...
Carmen Rexford

Congrats to all of you who played. Everyone answered correctly, which makes us happy. Especially Drake, since two of the questions had to do directly with him. I swear Erin and Kathy favor that boy.

Keep checking back. We will be running more contests, and Kathy and Erin will be updating Drake's story weekly. And read the blog--and chat with us!
Vampires get lonely.

Congrats again to the winners!

~Ren and The Impalers

Friday, September 21, 2007

Talk Like a Pirate Day?

First of all...what?

As you all know, I work on Bourbon Street, which in and of itself can be damned strange, but just the other night, it got even weirder. All these people kept staggering into our bar, talking in these terrible brogues and using phrases like "ahoy, matey!" and "shiver me timbers!"

Now people on Bourbon are not known for sobriety...or being normal, really. And thanks to that dude, Johnny Depp, people do fancy themselves as pirates on a more regular basis. But this was too many--even for the undeniable fandom of Mr. Depp. I mean, "argh" echoed through the air like some sort of wacked Gregorian chant.

Finally, Ren asked the crowd, what the hell they were doing. They gleefully (and still in those awful fake accents) announced it was "Talk like a pirate day."

Again, I ask you, what?

Okay, I was a pirate. And I never--never--talked like that. Not once did I say, "ahoy, mateys." Nor did I hear anyone else say it. I did often hear, "Look! A whore, mateys." I mean we spent a lot of time around the docks. Docks are seedy places--lots of whores there. And we discussed that fact often, and with great joy.

I never heard "shiver me timbers." I don't even know what the hell that means. And what man in their right mind would shout, "Thar she blows," to a shipload of men who've been out to sea for weeks. Do you want to incite a riot??
(Although, I may have heard that one on the docks, too.)

So if you want to know how real pirates spoke--and what they did--which wasn't flouncing round wearing smudged black eyeliner and ruffles (okay, I might have done that a bit), then go read Erin and Kathy's serial about me--Drake: Tales of a Lusty Pirate. It is purely accurate, as I am reciting the events directly to them.
(Okay, it's mostly accurate. Go read it, and tell me what you think?)

And what's your favorite pirate phrase? I'll let you know if we said it.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Thanks from Johnny

Just about to crawl into my coffin for my slumber, but I wanted to say thank you to Kathy and Erin for asking me to take over the drumming position in The Impalers. The party was great, spirits were high, energy was flowing. All in all, a great party. I enjoyed meeting everyone. Thanks for the opportunity. See you next time. "Get Impaled!!"

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Since The Impalers were such a hit at Heather Graham's Writers for New Orleans conference, Erin and I have decided to run a contest to celebrate. A rockin' contest based around our undead supergroup, who really done us proud.

And what do I win, you ask?
Well, let me tell you.

The prizes are...

Advance reader copies of both my own, Any Way You Want It, featuring Impalers' frontman, Ren D'Antoni--

and Erin's Sucker Bet, where the heroine, Gwenna Carrick, rocks out at an Impalers concert.

And the best part, these books are not officially available until January 2008--so you can read about the Impalers before anyone else.

Plus you will also win a CD of The Impalers (yes, the real Impalers) performing Any Way You Want It and I Want You To Want Me. Undead guys playing some of your favorite 80's cover tunes! Pretty cool, huh?

So what do you have to do to win all these awesome vampire-y goodies?
It's very simple...

Erin and I are writing a free online serial called Drake: Tales of A Lusty Pirate, which we will be updating on a regular basis. Please go to the story (on The Impalers site) and answer the following questions...
(Make sure to send the answers directly to me at

1. Where is Drake at the beginning of the story?

2. What is Drake's love interest's name?

3. Peruse the pictures in the Gallery (also on The Impalers site), find Ren, and then tell me what Ren's real life name is.

We will pick 3 winners, and they will be announced on Friday the 21st.
Good luck!

Friday, September 7, 2007

Rocking The Writing World

Hey Y'all!

Well, as you may have noticed, The Impalers have been away for awhile. We've been touring some, sleeping some, meeting new folks and drinking blood all along the way.

But now we are back in New Orleans, and to celebrate our homecoming, we just played the Hotel Monteleone for Heather Graham's Writers for New Orleans conference. And it was a damned fine welcome back. Erin McCarthy and Kathy Love sponsored us, and the attendees enjoyed themselves, hitting the dance floor and gettin' their groove on.

This was our first time doing a gig like this. And let me tell you--writers rock! We cannot state enough how great a conference and party this was. If you've considered attending, then definitely do so! We hope to be back again next year, singing, mingling and looking for prospective new tasty treats. :)

Okay, we honestly won't bite.
Not on the job anyway.

Check out the photos below. And check back for new ones.

AND Erin and Kathy are going to be running a contest soon.
Plus they will be posting a free serial read about our very own Drake--the lusty pirate. Look for new updates weekly. There is lots to come, so return often. And please do chat with us.
We love new blood. (Okay, okay enough with the vampire humor, right?)

Ciao for now,
The Impalers

Kathy and Erin with The Impalers

Drake before the show.

Ren singing his heart out for the crowd.

Johnny pumped up after the show.

Monday, March 26, 2007

And The Award Goes To...

The Impalers and I would like to congratulate Erin on her RITA nomination in Best Contemporary Single-Title Romance for her book Heiress For Hire.

The winner will be announced this July at the National Romance Writers of America conference in Dallas.

The boys and I are rooting for you!

Congrats, Erin!

Kathy and The Impalers

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Free Stuff

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that our pals, Erin and Kathy, are running a pretty cool contest over at The Midnight Hour blog. Which by the way, if you haven't check out this Midnight Hour site--it's pretty darn cool. Lots of chat about spooky stuff.

Right up our alley.

Anyway, Kathy and Erin are running a contest where you can win their autographed books. If you answer triva about us. Now that's always fun.

So go check it out.



Friday, March 16, 2007


So. Curses.
Do any of you believe in them?

I mean, maybe not something as clichéd as the "evil eye." Although, who's a vampire to make fun of something like an evil eye. But do you think curses happen to ordinary people--not just the dentally cursed or the phases of the moon cursed? (Which reminds me, ask me to post about the hot little werewolf chick I met last week. She had great hair...that's a joke. But it is good story.)
Anyway, back to my regularly scheduled question. Do you think that curses happen to the average Joe? Do you think people are born cursed? Let's face it, we all know that dude who just seems to have bad luck. All the time.

I'm cursed. But that's something I brought upon myself. Well, sort of. Having a really dysfunctional family didn't help the situation. But I think some people are cursed for much lesser reasons than I am.

What's your thoughts?
And are any of you cursed?
(Cuz you know that misery loves company.)

(I'm the one in the good shirt, in case you didn't know.)

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Least Favorite Things

It seems like everything is getting on my nerves lately. Not a good thing for a vampire, since I have an eternity to be irritated. And the thing is, I like to think I’m an easy-going, upbeat guy. I like my job, for the most part. Like my friends, like my bandmates. But don’t you just have those things, or people, or nights, where you just want to throw something because everything is so freakin’ annoying?

What irritates me, in no particular order:

Men jumping up on stage while the band is playing- Women on stage is good, but men? Come on. It’s weird, dude.

Bad drivers- I hate getting cut off, getting slowed down in the fast lane by a Sunday driver, or the opposite- being tailed by someone two inches off my bumper when I’m already going eighty.
Spam email- Does anyone really buy the Viagra alternative from a spam email? If you actually do though, please don’t tell me about it.

Britany Spears media coverage- So she’s bald and in rehab, enough already.

Childproof lighters- Here’s an idea… just don’t let your kid play with a lighter.

Sloppy drunks- I’m all for having a good time, but don’t spill your drink on my guitar. I’m serious.

Cell phone addicts- You are not so important that you need to be available 24/7. And it’s rude to ignore the person you’re with to talk on the phone to the person you’re not with. Especially if we’re on a date and the caller is the ex-boyfriend/husband. That doesn’t make me happy.

Forgetting to pay the rent- one lousy day late and the fee is fifty bucks.

One uppers- No, not drugs. I mean those people who no matter what you say, do, or own, they've done it better, got it cheaper, or paid more to own the best.

So what gets on your nerves?


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Favorite Things

So I’ve been thinking about moving. Or going on the road for awhile, getting away from the same old, same old.

Then I realized that I’m way more attached to my stuff than I used to be. When I was younger I used to get pack up my guitar, twenty bucks, and hit the road with my thumb in the air to catch a ride. Doesn’t sound all that fun to me now because I need my stuff.

I’d have a hard time living without:
The Internet- man, what did vampires ever do without it? Email, downloading songs, Myspace… I can spend hours online.

Computer- obvious, I guess, given the Internet comment above, but I could get access to the Internet at public places. But I want my own computer with all my games and music software.

My guitar- okay, that hasn’t changed much in forty years.

Cell phone- None of these “reading minds” vampire crap for me. Just call my cell.

Lava lamp- Even with kick ass technology, nothing’s ever going to be groovier than a lava lamp.

Picture of Jenny- She was my mortal girlfriend back in the day. She’s a real estate agent and a grandmother now in St. Louis.

The rest I guess I could take or leave, but I do really like my ACDC t-shirt, my DVD collection, and my Saints jersey. It wouldn’t make me happy to lose any of those.

What can’t you all live without?


Sunday, February 4, 2007

The Quiet Impaler

I guess that's how the other guys would label me. I am the quiet one. Seems to me that when you open your mouth too much, you just create a heap of trouble. I learned that lesson the hard way. After all, it was my own big mouth and cocky attitude that got me where I am today.

So I've learned over my many, many years to just sit back and let others talk themselves in and out of messes and around in circles. It's safer to sit quietly in the background. Don't get me wrong--I will speak my piece when it's necessary, but otherwise, I just sit and watch. You learn a hell of a lot more by listening.

That's something I wish I'd know back when I was alive. Things would have gone much differently if I'd had the sense to pay attention rather than charge in. I could have protected those I'd sworn to protect. I could have done my job...

Ah, hell, see where rambling on gets you? Right back to saying too much.

Yeah, I'm the quiet one. It's the safest way to be. I mean don't you wish there were times when you could have just shut your mouth? Don't you wish there were things you'd never said?

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Days Off

Not having to go to work is usually a good thing, right? I mean, we all wait for our days off, count down to them, think they disappear too fast, and drag our asses back in when the work week starts up again.

But lately, I haven’t been looking forward to those free days because it seems like I don’t have anything to do but sleep. And I’ve got how many days off ahead of me? An eternity worth. Being a vampire is a forever gig and I’m bored already. At least when I’m playing in the band I’m killing time, hanging with the guys, watching people, doing something. Not to mention I need the cash. Not every vampire is independently wealthy with no freakin’ explanation for how he got that way. I don’t need to pay for food, but I do like a roof over my head and a new t-shirt every now and then.

Maybe I need a hobby since I’m about to OD on cartoons and decorating shows. Or a girlfriend. But the last time I went there it didn’t end all that great considering she almost decapitated me. Literally. That doesn’t say good things about my taste in women and I’m not exactly ready to dive back in with the sharks in skirts.

So if you had about a thousand years of life ahead of you and a skinny bank account, what would you want to do on your days off?

Dave, bored on Bourbon