Thursday, February 14, 2008

Why Vampires Hate Valentine's Day

Is there anyone dead or alive who really likes Valentine's Day? Honestly. It's a holiday just designed to lead to disappointment. Come on, you know this is true. It's one of those holidays that has all this expectation around it, but just never pans out.

Then factor in the possibility of suffering through hundreds of these days of roses and candies and flowers. And again--inevitable disappointment abounds. Why you ask?

Well, let me give you a scenario. You go out and get your love bunny a dozen roses. Good, right? Well, then February 14th comes again next year, and there will be disappointment if you don't mix it up. So you get a huge foil, heart-shaped box of chocolates for your sweetie-pants. Which is a bit of a dud gift, if you are dating another undead, but it's the thought, right? You can see a little disappointment, but you still get lucky, so okay. We'll call this one a win. Then next thing you know, yep, it's February 14th again. So you go for jewelry this time, except it's not the piece she'd had her eyes on. But how were you supposed to know she wanted the garnet earrings, not the onyx one? Okay, you could have listened. But sometimes that's hard too.

You see where I'm going here. Now do this every year for eternity.
Valentine's Day sucks.

I'm going back to my coffin now and wait for February 15th.

- Jack


Erin McCarthy said...

Jack, just don't get her a rose for every year she's been alive... that's a surefire way to find yourself alone in your coffin.

You can funnel all the candy your undead girlfriend can't eat my way. I like cookies. :)

Erin McCarthy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christine Nolfi said...


Why not woo your undead lover with the ultimate gift--blood? Make Valentine's Day special for both of you by stalking sappy mortals together. Go for couples who are out doing the schmaltz on Valentine's Day. Get them as they leave a restaurant with stars in their eyes; stalk them as they stroll down lover's lane. It'll make for a day to remember for all eternity.

Rhonda Stapleton said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA nice...I'm cracking up.

And a happy undead V-day to you, too!!

MsHellion said...

*LOL* Happy V-Day, my darling vampires! I adore you anyway--and all you have to be is charming as usual!

Oh, and the flowers would work every year. *shrugs* Maybe you should try finding a lower-maintenance model.