Friday, January 25, 2008

Five For Friday

I've decided to let you all in on some secrets about vampires. Private things that most mortals don't know. Myths that need to be dispelled.

1. Vampires are repelled by garlic.

Okay, vampires are actually fine with garlic. It's a great little seasoning. What would garlic bread be without it? It's when people wear links of the stuff that it gets dicey. But it isn't because we are vampires that we don't like it. No one likes that.

2. Vampires cast no reflection.

We do cast a reflection. They are a little hazy and see-through, but we do. How else would we do our hair? Or in Vittorio's case, his eyeliner. (He loves that whole 80's goth look.)

3. Vampires cannot go out into the sun.

This one is true. But what isn't known is that this intolerance to sunlight is actually because we cannot process vitamin D. It has nothing to do with dark vs. light, good vs. evil. It's an allergic reaction. Vampires are nerd s with allergies. It's true.

4. Vampires cannot eat food.

Oh, we can eat. We just can't process the food. Which means we have to get rid of it by other methods. And trust me, it ain't pretty. Can anyone say, eating disorder.

5. Vampires can turn into bats.

This one is true, and frankly just weird. Bats? Yeah, that's the best way to travel.

Do any of you have questions you'd like to ask about the whole vampire mythos? Ask away. I'd love to tell you the truth about our kind. Go ahead, hit me!

~ The Impalers

6 comments:

Rhonda Stapleton said...

*snort* this was awesome...thanks for the peek into the vamp life!!

MsHellion said...

Do you have to sleep in coffins, or just any place that isn't going to fry you with sunlight?

Any particular blood type you prefer over another? Does it have to be human blood...or does, say, cow blood work in a pinch?

The Impalers said...

Hey Mshellion!

Great questions. I don't sleep in a coffin. I sleep in a huge bed with red velvet drapes around it. It's very decadent. And sexy ;-)

My brother, however, is a little more of a mininalist. He just does the bed with room-darkening shades. Dull.

So, no coffins aren't necessary.

As far as blood, I'm a lampir, which is an energy sucker--although I do have fangs and can drink blood. But it isn't necessary to survive. I'll have to defer that question to Drake or Dave or Johnny who are all straight-up vamps.

But as far as energy, I like my Maggie's best. She gives good vibrations. ;-)

Cheers,
Ren

The Impalers said...

Howdy mshellion-

Hmm, I think I'm partial to AB-. Being the rarest blood type, it's like rare and fine wine.

What blood type are you?
:)
Drake

The Impalers said...

I like O. But I'm a more simple guy than our Drake.

He likes expensive wines and dark ales. I like Bud Light.

So O for me.
:D
Buck (whose still not listed on The Impalers band link!)

MsHellion said...

You know I don't know...I'm probably an O something, if I recall the birth certificate right. Sorry, Drake...Anybody drink Miller light? *LOL* (I guess Bud works in a pinch...) *grins*

And why *aren't* you on the list yet, Buck, I looked for the new updated info last week and was so disappointed...